When No One is Looking

Who’s to know what I do behind closed doors? One of the advantages of being single and living alone is the privilege of total anonymity when I am at home—if you don’t count my two cats. If I watch something on television that might not be entirely appropriate, if I read something that might have been better left unread, or check out a website that is more black than grey, who’s to know?

As a believer I know theoretically that God is always present, that he observes my every action. Proverbs 15:3 (NIV) reminds us: “The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.” It’s odd that my practical reality denies that truth so stubbornly.

David has this conundrum between what I believe in public and how I live in private covered in this verse from Psalm 101: “I will walk in my house with blameless heart” (v. 2b NIV). And with a flash of prophetic insight, he includes the information highway in the next verse: “I will set before my eyes no vile thing” (v. 3 NIV).

The psalmist was well aware of the dangers of eye disease. Looking at Bathsheba cost him dearly—and she couldn’t even be categorized as a “vile thing.”

Most people don’t remember their dreams but on a couple of occasions I have been awakened suddenly with the images and feelings imprinted on my mind from very vivid sexual dreams. I don’t know what triggered them but my eyes “saw” and my body reacted. I began to pray that God would guard my dreams, that he would keep me from blame even while I slept. And he has.

In the same way, it is appropriate and wise to ask God to guard my eyes even in the seclusion of my own home, while no one else is watching, when I could get away with all kinds of indiscretions without fear of exposure.

And when in doubt, I can always ask: “Since Jesus is right here beside me, would he want to watch, or read, or surf…?” He stands at my elbow as I prepare meals in the kitchen, he sits on the corner of my desk while I work or play, he shares the sofa when I watch television, and he keeps watch over me as I sleep.

His eyes are on me. I gaze into his and in their depths I see his heart and all other desires other than his fade away.

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