I will see it…

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I quit a lot—in my mind. I beg God to give me the opportunity to quit for real. I feel my limitations, my weaknesses, and the burden of responsibility that seems too heavy to bear. Certain things trigger the meltdowns, but niggling in the back of my mind lies the urge to run, an urge just waiting for the gun to sound to give me permission to go.

Then God steps in. He always does. He uses many avenues to get His message across to me. This week He has blessed with many words of encouragement. Mind you, I struggle to believe them at the best of times, and certainly during the meltdowns. It always easier to believe the negative and to think that the positive is just a mistake.

Then this morning, God sent me a message from His Word. He often speaks that way and it's one message that I can't write off as a mistake.

I entered the territory of Deuteronomy this morning in my devotions. Moses is giving instructions, recounting the journey Israel has taken. He is encouraging and warning at the same time; the trusted leader's final words as he prepares to let go of the the reins of leadership.

"See, the Lord your God has given you the land. Go up and take possession of it as the Lord, the God of your fathers, told you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged"  (1:21, NIV)

"It is a good land…" (1:25)

I remember Who brought me here, Who has been here before me, Who is here now, and Who will be here long after I pass off the scene. It IS a good land and since He is here and has brought me here, fear and discouragement cannot occupy the space that He fills.

Moses reminds the people what happened when the ten spies allowed fear and discouragement to overtake their trust.  They saw giants and fortified cities and missed seeing a God bigger than giants and stronger than any city wall.

"Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place" (1:29-31, NIV).

Moses reminds Israel that in spite of what they knew about God's faithfulness in the past, they had not trusted Him with their present or their future. Ouch! I realize I am often guilty of the same sin and that if I am not careful I will miss the promised land because I don't trust God to be the same today and tomorrow as He was yesterday—faithful to His promises.

Only two of the twelve spies saw God instead in the obstacles. Of the original multitude that left Egypt with Moses, only those two men, Caleb and Joshua, went into the land. Lord, I ask that you give me a heart like Caleb of whom it is written: "He will see it, and I will give him and his descendants the land he set his feet on, because he followed the Lord wholeheartedly" (1:36, NIV, emphasis mine).

Caleb and Joshua saw exactly the same people and cities that the other spies saw. But unlike their companions, they saw a God who was, and is, much bigger than the obstacles.

I want to borrow Caleb's glasses.