On Making Painful Decisions

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A couple of weeks ago our small group was working on a study on the life of Moses prior to his decision to flee Egypt after having killed the Egyptian slave master. But much of our discussion revolved around an earlier decision: Moses' choice to not be identified as the son of Pharaoh's daughter but to identify himself with God's people.

"By faith, Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter." (Hebrews 11:24)

We talked about how difficult such a decision might be and the temptation to try to influence change from "inside" rather than distance oneself by identifying with those on the "outside."

Yesterday I discovered that an organization I have been volunteering with has openly endorsed a lifestyle choice that I believe violates God's creative design and redemptive purposes. The organization is a great one on many levels and while I applaud their efforts to help the vulnerable in our community without prejudice and discrimination, I think they crossed a line that I can't cross with them. It is one thing to accept others despite their choices and another to endorse and encourage those choices. This is made all the more painful because the organization is operated by an evangelical church.

I sat down to write an email to the volunteer coordinator to tell her that I would no longer be volunteering with them. I struggled with whether or not to explain why I was pulling back but my words seem to come off as self-righteous. That's the trouble with words on paper—they are disconnected with the emotions and tone of voice that is often necessary to convey the real message behind them.

As I struggled with my decision, I asked the Lord to tell me what to do—go or stay. That was when I had the "Moses Moment." There was a lot of good in Egypt for Moses. It would not have been perfect—nothing ever is. But everyone chooses where to draw their battle lines. There came that moment when all the good was overwhelmed by that enormous "bad" and Moses had to make a decision.

His decision was no doubt misunderstood and misrepresented—even by his own people. Mine might be as well. But I asked for guidance and I believe I got it in the reminder about the lessons from Moses' life. The warning from 2 Corinthians 6:14 came to mind as well: "...what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

I don't know the backstory behind the choices others have made and I am not in a position to influence those choices. I can only respond for my own, even when they are painful ones. But we all make choices all the time: important or not, big or not-so-big, life-changing or simply blips on the radar of that life. Some are hard and some are easy. But all of them are influenced by what we think about God and how important we consider His Word to be to us. And, as believers, we know on whose side we need to end up on.