Grains of Sand

Pixabay I linger in the blackness, seemingly invisible to passersby. My night is cold and lonely, devoid of the warmth of human touch. There is only God, and though He speaks, I do not hear from Him what I desperately want to hear. He begs me to trust His will, but that will lies heavily upon me, like a shroud. His will is solitary. His will is hard. He bids me be patient, but the fruitless, empty, years pass me by, heaping their rewards on others. Shared laughter mocks me, as groups of two, three, and four, walk by. Their eyes seem to meet mine but then slide past unseeing. I follow them, heading toward the open doors ahead that they are passing through. I long to cry out after them: “Look at me. See me. Hear me.” I don’t. They are busy with better, more productive, things. I bless the Lord for all their successes even as I envy them those blessings. Like a swift running current, they flow past my stagnant pool. It seems pointless to call out to them. Even if they saw and heard, ...

Pixabay I ran across this brief devotional while sifting through some articles I had written on the FAITHWRITERS website. I wrote it in 2005 but its truth still remains current for today. “ Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water .” ( Matthew 14:28 NIV ) You have to admire the audacity of Peter. As for me, I don’t like small boats. I prefer my water in a glass or at least in a form that comes with a tap. If I had been Peter, I probably wouldn’t have even been in the boat, much less trying to walk on water. But sometimes the events of life don’t give us a choice. Unlike Peter, we don’t even get the opportunity to ask permission to take a walk on the wet side—we get tossed out of the boat and seemingly left to sink or swim. A serious illness, a financial setback, a ministry turned misery, a relationship that fails, a past that haunts us, a present that overwhelms us and a future that defies us—who would ask to walk on these turbulent waters? For P...

Pixabay “ Praise be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. ” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) Reading these verses reminded me of a life experience that a missionary colleague shared with me some years ago. She and her husband were serving overseas. They were expecting their first child—actually children plural. She was carrying triplets. The babies, all boys, were perfect when they were born. But none of them survived. She was RH negative, and the medical personnel were unaware, or unprepared, for the implications of that reality during her pregnancy or when the babies were born. I asked her what that terrible tragedy meant to her as she looked back on it years later. Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 1...

Pixabay There are lots of things I don't know. Included among those is the hour of my passing into eternity. I was reminded of that this morning when an SUV making a left hand turn while I was in the crosswalk came to a screeching halt just inches from me. That wasn't my place, or time, to go. The driver didn't see me—but God had! That's a pretty major "I don't know." But there are lots of other things—major and minor—that I don't know—but God does! My verse for today reminded me that " No eye has seen, nor ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. " (1 Corinthians 2:9) If the "worst" had happened this morning, it would actually turn out to be the best—I'd be face-to-face with the Lord and that's a very good thing. The semi-worst would be broken bones and ruptured stuff! And many would wonder why God would allow such a thing. It's the famous "Why me?" or ...

Pixabay I just finished throwing out two books. There was nothing wrong with the books, or the information that they contained. I also made a mental note to go through some study material that I wrote and taught several years ago to remove references to one of the books I have just consigned to the garbage. It's not the books, or the material. It's the author who wrote the books. I won't say that he has ever been an idol of mine. But I know that he has been the idol of others, world-famous in fact. He started a movement and became a guru among evangelicals, much quoted and much emulated. And perhaps everything he said and did (at least in his ministerial role) was exemplary and worthy to be followed. But it turns out he is an idol with clay feet, who has systematically abused his power over many years while in the ministry,  This abuse particularly relates to his relationship with women. As a woman, and one who knows a little about abuse of power in ministry, I don...

Pixabay As followers of Jesus we often refer to ourselves as being servants of the Lord, or as serving Him. We ask other believers about what they are doing in their local churches or in para-church organizations, considering that such activity is service for the Lord. We talk about pastors and missionaries serving the Lord. Sometimes, depending on how long and/or impressive the list, we begin to believe that we must be pretty important in the grand scheme of kingdom-building. Or, on the flip side, we are forced to deal with feelings of envy when others seem to be serving the Lord in better,  bigger, or much appreciated ways than we are. Don't get me wrong, serving the Lord is a fundamental theme in Scripture. In fact, everything in life becomes service when we are reminded of Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 10:31 as he writes: " So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. " Our service lends the practical evidence to our clai...

Pixabay “ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid .” (John 14:27) What kind of peace does the world give? Temporary. Treaties are made. Treaties are broken. Ceasefires cease sooner or later. Someone looks and lusts; conflict breaks out in the push and pull of political intrigue. Relationships sail along comfortably until the next storm. That’s not God’s peace. That’s not what Jesus promised as He approaches the epicentre of conflict—His world’s  need to be rid of Him. The political and religious leaders clamour for His death. He knows this. He knows what is coming—the maelstrom in the making. And He speaks of peace that nothing can disturb and tells His disciples not to be troubled and not to be afraid. It is not a peace conjured up by force of character. Jesus says He is leaving HIS peace with them—the inheritance of those filled with His Spirit. It’s permanent. It’s living, b...